It’s Broken

I found out today that I have had a fractured foot for the past four years. I broke it in a car accident that I don’t really like to talk about, and my foot has hurt ever since.

 I can walk, I can run, I can ride a bike, I can hike, I can eat a burrito while standing on one foot, but it hurts all the time.

 The healing process was complicated because this break is easily missed, and so I walked around for three weeks before anyone told me it was broken. Then they said it would pretty much take care of itself because feet are weird.  So it hurt, and I just thought was how these things go. Four years later I went back, thankfully to a different doctor, because I was tired of walking like and 80-year-old with out a cane on a rainy day. 

 Turns out, my foot decided to not heal.  I didn’t even know your body could do that, but it is called a “non-union” break, and your body just decides it’s not worth putting the pieces back together.

 I tried not to be insulted by my body’s decision and its complete lack of regard for my opinion on the matter, but I was also quite relieved that there was a reason that I complained about my foot all the time. I simply have had a fractured foot for four years.

 And I knew something wasn’t right. Because we aren’t supposed to have pieces of bone floating around.

 We are supposed to be whole.

 It is what we long for, it is what we are working for.

 A wholeness, a unity, a togetherness. Not just within ourselves, but with others.

 I found myself incredibly thankful that God doesn’t give up on us. He does not decide that we are not worth it. He does not simply think we are better off left broken. He knows that we know something just isn’t right.

 I am finishing up my YAV year here in Boston with this hope, because it is how I have been able to do my work in hunger. Everyday in a broken system, everyday a little closer to something whole.  A day with less hunger, less hurting, less confusion.

 God knows our hurting, he feels our longing for connections, wholeness, and he does not leave us un-healed.

 The chaos and the brokenness, the madness that is going on in this world right now, the hungry and the forgotten, the sad and disenchanted, the humble and the meek, the hurt and aching, we are all coming back together. Our pieces made up, our hearts whole, and our souls shining like stars.

Thanks for reading,