Sightings

What Do I Know Of Joy

Four Reflections

by Ken Rummer

 

Photo: K. Rummer

What do I know of joy?

I know the feeling of walking out of the doctor’s office, fearing the worst but finding out it’s not that but something much less scary, something treatable, not life-threatening, and the doctor says, “Go. Live.” and the sky is extra blue and the sun feels brighter and life reopens in front of me, and I return home to those I love. I think that might be joy.

What do I know of joy?

I know the feeling of working in the wood shop, fine tuning a joint with shoulder plane and chisel, when the pieces slide together, not gappy, not sticky, but fitting with the just-rightness Goldilocks was looking for, and a smile wells up like a tear, and a glow of satisfaction brightens, and I say to myself, “Nice.” I think that might be joy.

What do I know of joy?

I know the feeling, twice over, of looking into the eyes of our child, just birthed and wearing a white stocking hat, wrapped in a warmed blanket, a small person out of our love, long awaited and now here and whole and looking back, a wonder. I think that might be joy.

What do I know of joy?

I know the feeling of resting in a presence, sure I was in trouble with God, but finding, after confessing my most shameful memories, a warmth and a welcome, sitting like a child on God’s big chair, forgiven and blessed and at peace, clean all the way through, a great weight lifted and nothing between us. I think that too might be joy.

 Ken Rummer, a retired PCUSA pastor, writes about life and faith from the middle of Iowa by the High Trestle Trail. Previous posts may be found at  http://presbyterian mission.org/today/author/krummer